Bond villains reviewed by their own henchmen. Q Branch gadgets fought over at a white elephant swap. Blofeld’s volcano listed for sale. Moneypenny’s expense invoices, sorted by how hard they are to explain to accounting.
Ranking Bond ranks the characters, villains, gadgets and moments of the James Bond films, one strange rule per list. Goldfinger, Blofeld, Stromberg, Scaramanga, Jaws, Oddjob, M, Q, Miss Moneypenny and Felix Leiter all get judged here, along with Bond girls like Vesper Lynd, Pussy Galore and Tracy. Every list states its house rules up front and sticks to what the films actually show. Characters, not actors.
Pick Your Mission
- Licence to Kill: Close calls, rescues and villain lairs that exploded, sank or melted.
- Q Branch: Gadgets and vehicles, judged by standards MI6 never used.
- Shaken Not Stirred: Bond’s ego, as handled by the Bond girls who refuse to be impressed.
- For Your Eyes Only: Scene-level rankings for anyone who watches the timer instead of the explosion.
- Odd Jobs: The Bond world run through ordinary life: bosses, budgets and property.
Latest Rankings
8 Bond Villains, Reviewed by the People Who Worked for Them
Bond villains are some of the biggest employers in fiction. They run shipping lines, chip factories, media empires and at least one circus, and every one of them needs staff: guards, pilots, scientists, assistants, a man to hold the cat. Plenty of people now rate their old bosses on anonymous employee review sites. Henchmen, for…
Category: Odd Jobs10 Bond Villain Schemes That Would Just Be a Business Today
Strip out the murder, the henchmen and the doomsday device, and a surprising number of Bond villains turn out to be one compliance meeting away from a perfectly dull company. Most of them already had the business. The scheme was a shortcut. We judge the scheme as the film shows it. Every villain here would…
Category: Odd Jobs9 Bond Films, Ranked by 007’s Betting Odds at the Start of Act Three
You know how a Bond film ends. That is exactly why we took away our bookie’s DVD collection. For this list we froze nine films at the moment the climax begins and asked one question: if you walked up to the betting window right then, what price would you get on Bond? The bookie knows…
Category: For Your Eyes Only6 Bond Villain Price Tags, Adjusted for Inflation
Bond villains love a number. A billion here, a hundred million there, a fee paid in gold. The trouble is that most of these numbers were announced decades ago, which makes them sound smaller every year. So we ran them through the inflation calculator to find out what each villain was really asking for in…
Category: Odd Jobs7 Times a Bond Girl Saved James Bond’s Life, Ranked by How Badly He Needed It
The posters tend to put Bond in front with the gun. The films themselves are less sure who is protecting whom, and more than a few of his narrow escapes were someone else’s doing. So here are seven times a Bond girl saved his life. We ranked the moments, not the women: how immediate the…
Category: Licence to Kill10 Bond Girl Cars (and Other Rides), Ranked by Resale Value
Bond gets the Aston Martin, but the women in his films have been driving, riding and flying some very interesting machinery since 1964. Some of it is now a blue-chip collectible. Some of it is worth less than a tank of gas in a DB5. So we sent every Bond girl car, bike and plane…
Category: Q Branch12 Bond Villain Lairs That Were Destroyed, Ranked by Whose Fault It Was
A Bond villain’s lair has a shorter life expectancy than the henchmen inside it. Sooner or later it explodes, sinks or melts, and we would like to know who is paying. So we ran the insurance claims. Each lair below gets a fault split between the owner, Bond and anyone else who showed up with…
Category: Licence to Kill9 Bond Villain Lairs You Can Actually Visit
Bond villain lairs usually end up as burning sets, shattered miniatures or very expensive effects shots. A few are real James Bond film locations, and you can buy a ticket to them. We ranked nine by how good a trip they are for a Bond fan: how close you get to what was on screen,…
Category: Odd Jobs12 Bond Villain Lairs, Ranked as Real Estate Listings
Every Bond villain has the same real estate problem. They spend a fortune on a secret lair with a monorail, a shark tank and a dramatic view, and then a man in a dinner jacket shows up and it all explodes. That leaves a lot of Bond villain lairs on the market. So we listed…
Category: Odd Jobs15 Bond Girls Who Would Make Your Ex the Most Jealous
Breakups are a competition, according to the least emotionally healthy person in every group chat, and the scoreboard is whoever shows up next to you in the photos. So we went through the 25 official Eon Bond films looking for the Bond girls most likely to make an ex refresh your profile at 2 a.m.…
Category: Shaken Not Stirred
Quick Answers
What is Ranking Bond? An unofficial fan site that ranks James Bond characters, villains and gadgets by unusual criteria.
Does it cover the actors? No. Characters only.